Monday, January 15, 2007

Conan O'Brien said these jokes recently.

In a primetime speech last night, President Bush said that he was sending in 20,000 troops to end the war. He wasn't talking about Iraq, he was talking about the war between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump.

According to the New York Daily News, last season Barry Bonds tested positive for amphetamines. Bonds said he has no idea how the amphetamines got mixed up in his steroids.

Earlier this week in Alabama, a man shot another man because they got into an argument about how tall James Brown was. Of course, everyone knows there are three things you should never talk about with your friends: politics, religion and the exact height of James Brown.

In other sports news, soccer player David Beckham just signed the most expensive contract in sports history. He'll make $250 million dollars over five years to play soccer in Los Angeles. Still no word what he'll do in two years when the U.S. league folds.

President Bush will address the nation tomorrow night and his speech will pre-empt "Deal or no Deal." To appease fans of the show, the President will hide his Iraq strategy in one of 26 suitcases.

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