Now that I have HDTV, I've watched more golf than ever. Watching golf reminds me of that old "Star Trek" episode where the species had unfortunately evolved to just brains in a jar (don't try to figure it out). It's like the Brian Regan routine, "I'm not EVEN fishing; I'm WATCHING fishing on TV!"
Before we get to the list, an update from CBS on ratings:
CBS coverage of the 2007 Masters on Easter Sunday and Saturday, in which Zach Johnson won the coveted green jacket, was seen in all-or-part by an estimated 41.4 million viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research estimates. This year's 41.4 million viewers was up 11% from last year's 37.3 million viewers, and up 6% from 38.9 million in 2004, the last time the Masters was played on Easter Weekend.
The list, from CBS:
As presented by 2007 Masters golf champion Zach Johnson on the Monday, April 9 broadcast of the LATE SHOW:
"Things I Can Say Now That I’ve Won the Masters"
10. I’m going to spend the prize money on Mountain Dew and beef jerky.
9. I once beat a caddy to death with a 7-iron.
8. It’s so weird – before this weekend, I’d never broken 100.
7. The jacket’s ok, but I’m most excited to win the “world’s greatest golfer” key chain.
6. Even I’ve never heard of me.
5. If you like golf, you’ll love the sleek looks and smooth handling of the 2007 Volkswagen Golf Sedan – I just made 50 grand.
4. I just wrote down “3” for every hole. Nobody checked.
3. Maybe I can parlay this into an appearance on “Dancing with the Stars.”
2. It’s a magical week: first I win the Masters, and now I get to tell lame jokes on a third-rate talk show.
1. Thanks to global warming, next year I’m playing without pants.