[As presented by Sanjaya Malakar, the most recent contestant voted off “American Idol,” on the April 23 broadcast of the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN:
"Things I Learned from ‘American Idol’"
10. The camera adds ten pounds to your mohawk.
9. Work hard and make sacrifices, you can finish in 7th place.
8. It’s very important to “Keep it real, dawg.”
7. I should have gone for the immunity idol – oh wait, that’s “Survivor.”
6. On-camera Simon is a bit nasty, but off-camera, he’s a total jerk.
5. Voting for yourself 100 times an hour causes some wicked carpal tunnel.
4. When you forget the words, just do this.
(Sanjaya belts out a riff like“Ohhhhhhhh”)
3. Honestly, I thought I was auditioning for “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”
1. America loves performers with bad hair – right, Dave?