Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Jokes from Shop Talk newsletter

Obama Trip
Barack Obama visited the troops in Iraq. Critics charge his elitism showed a bit. When generals talked about "boots on the ground," he asked " Lucchese or Brunomagli?"

Model T
The Ford Model T is 100 years old. It was noisy, cumbersome, and didn't go far on a gallon of gas. The original assembly line workers nicknamed it the "Expedition".

Bike Buzz
The tour de France continues. At this stage, a champion cyclist will reach back for something extra. And if he's caught, officials will kick him out of the race.

Jessie Country
Jessica Simpson has launched a country music career. She's still learning the terminology. When asked if her band had a steel guitar, she said "no, we bought it legally."

Bad Gamble
Casinos business is down in Las Vegas. Turns out people are now gambling in other venues. Atlantic City. Lake Tahoe. Indian reservations. Countrywide Mortgage.

Material courtesy TeleJoke and Alan Ray. Want more? Go to

The Big Three..
Mississippi, Alabama and Tennessee are the three most obese states in the nation. Mississippi is number one, and the rest is pretty much Charles Barkley and Al Gore.

Terminal exam...
A report says the U.S. fails most measures of health care quality. Patients wait longer for doctors and are more likely to die from preventable ailments. Sometimes on the same office visit.

Perpetually stoned...
Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones has entered rehab for a drinking problem. Keith Richards is beyond rehab. He has already been officially classified as "embalmed".

Material courtesy Jim Barach. Want more? Go to http://jokesbyjim.blogspot

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