My colleague Dafna reminded me that I hadn't updated this blog in a week, so here goes an amazing flurry of posts designed to catch you up with our world. Or perhaps I'll bore the crap out of you.
First up: some quotes from Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update.":
"WEEKEND UPDATE" CO-ANCHOR AMY POEHLER: "Wall Street was hit hard Monday when Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch was sold to Bank of America, and insurance giant AIG neared a collapse of its own. Basically, if you commercials air during golf tournaments, you're done."
POEHLER: "A top McCain policy advisor claimed this week that McCain's work in the Senate helped create the BlackBerry saying, 'You're looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.' He then handed the BlackBerry to McCain, who attempted to withdraw twenty dollars from it."
POEHLER: "NBC Universal this week bought The Weather Channel for 3.5 billion dollars. NBC executives wanted to reach the elusive 'let's leave the TV on for the dog' demographic."
MEYERS: "Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Lawrence Ellison top the Forbes list of the top 10 richest people in the U.S. having a combined wealth, as of Friday, of nearly eight thousand dollars."