The Pat Ferrucci controversy

In case you missed this, Register Entertainment Editor Pat Ferrucci wrote a review of David Archuleta's new album in last week's Weekend section, saying the self-titled album was "one of the worst records in recent memory." Then the s*** hit the proverbial fan when Archuleta fans picked up the piece on line and went nuclear. So we decided to interview P.F. so he could tell his side of the story. This is the biggest controversy at the Register since, well, since late last week. But that's a different story. Here's our Q&A:

Joe: Explain how this David Archuleta thing happened:
Pat: I'm not exactly sure. I wrote a review of the David Archuleta CD. It seems some of his fans have something in place from Google that tells them when new reviews are published. Mine was especially negative, so someone posted it on a Archuleta fan site. From there, droves of people came to the Register site to make comments about my inteligence, sexuality, etc.

Joe: What exactly did you say in your review that ticked off the entire David Y. Arent'-You-Getting-Us Nation?
Pat: I said the CD sucked. I was very blunt.

Joe: Is it true that you're a twisted, hateful, closeted-gay, music snob?
Music snob maybe. That's about it.

Joe: Many of David's fans seem to want to protect him from the harsh realities of life, as if he's 9 years old. What's that all about?
Pat: See, I think this is the creepiest part of it all. Here's a kid who voluntarily tried out for a show that's popular because it has judges that mock people. He then took a presumed boatload of money and made a CD that was sent out to critics. He knows he's going to get negative reviews. I'm guessing he doesn't care. And being 17 doesn't matter. He put something into the world to be judged. I shouldn't deal with it differently than I would the newest record from a 75-year-old. But his fans have a real scary mother complex. Lots of comments about him being an angel and such. One of the comments on the Register site even linked to his baby photos because, gosh darn it, I couldn't dis a CD by such a cute baby. Frightening.

Joe: Your tastes seem to run from the pedantic to the spurious, and I have no idea what those words mean. Tell us why you shouldn't be pilloried for the next six months by self-imposed shut-ins from all over the globe who worship a big-headed reality-show contestant?
Pat: I'm doing my big-head pose right now. I wish we could put that next to this. (Pat, gesturing with both arms, palms up, head rocking side to side) Anyway, people can pillorize; it's OK. On Friday a negative review of David Cook's disc will run. I assume more hate mail will come my way.

Joe: Are you sure you weren't trying to hammer David Cook and just got confused?
Pat: I don't want to hammer anyone, in any sense of that word.

Joe: I suppose you also loathe Dane Cook. I'm with you there.
Pat: Dane Cook sucks. Let me say it bluntly: Dane Cook is not funny and he sucks. I hate him more because he got to be in a movie with Jessica Alba.

Joe: Alba is very attractive. Would you "date" Paula Abdul, and by "date" I mean spend a drunken weekend with her in a Red Roof Inn near Parsippany, N.J.?
Pat: I don't want to go to New Jersey with anybody. And people associated with Paula end up dead in trunks, so ...

Joe: Thanks for your time today. I'm going to let you get back to your busy job of bashing Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Cindy Lou Who and the Little Drummer Boy.