Coming tuesday aug. 15 on ABC:

The first installment of “Primetime: The Outsiders” will explore people who live with wild animals, forgetting the dangers that are involved. John Quiñones reports on a couple who raised a chimp named Moe as the son they never had. St. James and LaDonna Davis raised Moe in their home as you would a child, teaching him to shower, dress in clothes and watch television. They even gave him his own credit card. Yet they discovered the harsh reality of animal behavior after a vicious disfiguring attack by another chip (sic) at a birthday party they threw for Moe at a wildlife sanctuary.

to which we envision a credit card ad:

Bananas: $3; Chimp clothes from the Gap: $87; box set of The Three Stooges: $39. Grandchildren who look like Johnny Damon during his Red Sox days? Priceless.