"WEEKEND UPDATE" CO-ANCHOR SETH MEYERS -- "If recent polls are correct and Democrats win back control of the House and Senate, President Bush's administration will be transformed into an early lame duck. Worse, Cheney will then shoot it."
The Iranian government announced this week that they are slowing down Internet access speed because they don't want Iranians to have good Internet service. Apparently, the government is so serious about this they're making all Iranians subscribe to AOL.
MEYERS -- "Mike Tyson has proposed a boxing match between him and Ann Wolfe, a female middle-weight boxer. Many believe the bout would be similar to Bobby Riggs and Billy Jean King's famed Battle of the Sexes, but only if Billy Jean King had been punched to death."
At a press conference yesterday, Mike Tyson announced that he'd like to start fighting women. You wouldn't think a guy with a face tattoo who's lost 200 million dollars could keep coming up with worse ideas.