Our fake news post of the week:
President Bush today declared a federal disaster area for three counties in Texas after a marauding group of Northern mercenaries conducted a prime-time raid at a football stadium in Irving, Texas. Several local Cowboys were humiliated, and a large migratory Tuna was speared, but President Bush urged Texans to "stay the course" for "America's team" and hold out for a victory by 2025. At one point, Bush sidled up to pale-as-death owner Jerry Jones and said, "You're doin' a helluva job, Jonesy."
Speaking of which, there is the following news about this most satisfying event for Big Blue.
ESPN's Monday Night Football, a 36-22 New York Giants victory over the Dallas Cowboys, was seen by the biggest audience in the history of cable television - an average of 11,807,000 homes, based on a 12.8 rating (16,028,000 viewers, P2+). The previous record for a scheduled program on cable television had stood for nearly 13 years, CNN's November 1993 NAFTA Debate between then-vice president Al Gore and Ross Perot on Larry King Live (11,174,000 homes).