Summer TV: The Recap

As summer wanes, we have some observations about the lightly viewed summer fare.
Best show: My outdoor firepit, which is where all evidence of Big Brother 8 should be incinerated.
Worst show: Pirate Master, a stupid ripoff of Survivor that wasn't worth the time. Yo, ho.
Other bad shows: The 2 Coreys, National Bingo Night, Fat March (aka Dead-weight Man Walking), John From Cincinnati, Meadowlands, Big Bro. 8.
Best ratings: High School Musical 2 (17.2 million for first airing), The Closer (8 million average), Ice Road Truckers (almost 5 million viewers for finale).
Still phenomenal: HS Musical 2, which packages Disney stars in irresistable segments for tweens and teens.
Here's to older-than-39 actresses getting starring roles: Damages (Glenn Close), "State of Mind (Lily Taylor) and Saving Grace (Holly Hunter, IN PHOTO above right).
Mediocre but on cable so they're safe: Burn Notice, Heartland, Eureka, Psych.
Solid women's shows: Army Wives, State of Mind.
Sexed-up cable crap: Weeds, Meadowlands, Californication (Duchovny's new rated-X files).
No one cares: Flight of the Conchords.
Best sets, costumes and period piece with lots of smoking and drinking: Mad Men, which will have a Labor Day marathon on AMC from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Sound-alikes to confuse you: Desperative Housewives, The Starter Wife, Army Wives and Footballers' Wives (BBC America). Are there no shows about husbands? (The Animal Husband, Coast Guard Husbands, Trophy Hubby...)
Amerigo Vespucci would not be thrilled: America's Got Talent, American Idol, American Inventor.
Karaoke for Vidiots: Don't Forget the Lyrics, The Singing Bee.
Watchable in short stretches, if you're lucky: Hell's Kitchen, On the Lot.

Seacrest, in; 'Heroes' rings Bell; Survivor: China

Ryan Seacrest will host the 59TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS from the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles Sunday, Sept. 16.

Says NBC:

Kristen Bell ("Veronica Mars") joins NBC's Emmy Award-nominated ensemble drama "Heroes" for a special multiple episode arc as "Elle," a sexy, intriguing, mysterious young lady who has ties to Peter's apparent death, H.R.G.'s past, and Claire's future. When fans first meet Elle in October, she will commit a terrible crime, but as always with "Heroes," it will be unclear whose side she is really on.

CBS has announced the cast of "Suvivor: China" (sept. 20), and one player's a pro poker player (time on his hands, obviously) and another's a grave digger. No Connecticut connections apparent.

Pat's not nervous that his Sox are slipping down

Getting pretty interesting in the American League East. Bosox fan and Entertainment Editor Pat Ferrucci (http://bloglikeanegyptian.blogspot.com/) doesn't admit to being worried about losing the lead, but I think Red Sox nation (i.e. a bunch of really white folk who think Boston is their Mecca) is starting to hear footsteps again.
As I've said to Pat, who is one of the most feared slow-pitch softball hitters on the East Coast, about NESN compared to YES: In the apparent Arms Race of glamorous female on-air talent, the Bosox channel WINS (Hazel May, etc.). I think at the very least, Tina Cervasio is getting more people out than Eric Gon-yay!)

No Ray in New Haven

Reader Justin from West Haven complains that local fans of the Celtics can't watch their team (and former UConn star Ray Allen) on a regular basis on Comcast. It has to do with NBA territorial lines, which puts the Knicks on Comcast New Haven's system and the Celtics on Cox in Cheshire-Meriden. Justin would like Comcast to make available Fox Sports New England, if at all possible.

Don't go in that cave! "Muskrat Love..." it's, it's a cookbook!

Here's a ridiculous e-mail, from the Lippin Group, doing PR for the Capt. and Tennile's new/old releases of DVDs (their TV show) and CDs:

Oddly, Muslim extremist and unpopular cave-dweller Osama bin Laden also has unnatural fondness for wine coolers yet is known to loathe the Captain & Tennille. He claims, on poorly produced videos, to wonder “why a grown man not associated with naval operations wears such a hat. What is he captain of?” So imagine the surprise of American forces when they found a treasure trove of what appear to be Bin Laden’s DVDs in caves throughout the Afghan mountains, including all of the duos albums. A hand-written note on the single “Muskrat Love” says, “It makes me both happy and sad and tingly. What magic true artists possess,” as reported by The Los Angeles Times

Kassie at the Pilot Pen

Kassie DePaiva, Emmy- nominated, ABC TV Daytime star of "One Life to Live" and soon-to-be host of her own PBS show called "Knit & Crochet Today," will be performing songs and signing autographs and CDs on August 24th at the Pilot Penn Tennis Tournament in New Haven.
DePaiva recently released a bluegrass-inspired album of songs.

Joe Man replaces Cranky Man

Says CBS:
Joe Mantegna will join the cast of CRIMINAL MINDS starring as FBI Special Agent David Rossi. Mantegna is scheduled to make his first appearance in the fifth episode of the season which is broadcast Wednesdays at 9 p.m.
Then, says TV Guide:
TVGuide.com’s Michael Ausiello received exclusive confirmation from his moles at Criminal Minds that disgraced cranky-pants Mandy Patinkin will be returning to the show this fall after all, but only for one episode (airing October 3), so as to provide some closure for his Gideon character. Patinkin’s reprisal of Gideon, reports Ausiello, will be brief and lonely—he’ll only be in one scene and he’ll be essentially be the only one in it.

"Disgraced cranky pants": that's funny.

New Conan jokes

"It's being reported that the Hooters restaurant chain may open up a restaurant in the Muslim city of Dubai. Apparently during happy hour, they take the waitress outside and stone her to death."
"Archaeologists in Hungary say they have discovered a forest of trees that's 8 million years old. The archeologists say that they haven't seen wood that old since the last time Larry King watched porn."
"The Hooters restaurant chain has announced that they may open up a Hooters in the Muslim city of Dubai. Apparently, the Hooters will open up right next to the Dubai 'Thank God it's Fatwah.'"
"Last night, Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run and broke Hank Aaron's record. After the game, Bonds celebrated by injecting his ass with champagne."
"Last night President Bush did not call Barry Bonds after he broke Hank Aaron's record, but today Bush decided to make the call. Bush said 'I realized I had a rare opportunity to talk to the only guy in the country who's less popular than I am.'"
"The Food and Drug Administration says the new fat-blocking drug Alli can cause gas and loose stools. As a result the FDA has insisted that all bottles of Alli have labels that read: 'This drug is safe and hilarious.'"
"In a recent interview, President Bush's father said he gets upset when people tell him that his son is doing a bad job. Bush's Dad went on to say, 'You'd think after 60years I'd be used to it.'"
"Residents of a small town in Mississippi have been calling authorities to report a kangaroo that's on the loose. Mississippi residents describe the kangaroo as 'a squirrel so big you'd have to eat it in 2 sittings.'"
"It's been reported that Kevin Federline is going to request primary custody of his two children with Britney Spears. Britney says she'd be happy to give the kids to Federline but she can't remember where she left them."
"Last night, during a debate sponsored by a gay group, Senator Hillary Clinton was criticized because of her husband's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy. In response, Hillary said, 'Sorry, but our entire marriage is based on me not asking and him not telling.'"

Speaking of Merv Griffin

From radio historian Michael Collins:

Merv Griffin built a radio station empire in the 1960s and 1970s and began in Waterbury, with purchase in 1965 of WWCO 1240 (his very first station) and on Christmas Eve 1967 signed on WWCO-FM 104.1 (now WPHH) with a strong signal covering most of CT. His group included stations in Binghamton, NY, Atlantic City, NJ and Hartford CT, where his WPOP 1410 became the first all news station in CT in the mid 1970s. When WPOP made the switch to news from top 40, morning dj The Greasman lost his slot.

Today, Merv and the Scooter

Time to ketchup, er, catch up.

The "Today" show will expand to four hours, it was announced this week. Why does that sound excessive? And what will WVIT-30 do with their 10 a.m. news?

Yesterday I watched "The View" while waiting on car repairs. Kelly and Regis are almost unwatchable for me, but somehow "The View" doesn't make we want to run into traffic foaming at the mouth (like most daytime TV), even though it's so gal-friendly. Caroline Rhea was on the panel this day, and we like her.

Merv Griffin was a likable enough guy who made a ton of money. As an "SCTV" fan, I can't help but think of Rick Moranis' hilarious impression of Merv, cooing, "Oooh, we'll be right back."

I grew up with the voice of Phil Rizzuto, daily over the airwaves of radio and TV, punctuating Yankees highs and lows with "Holy Cow!" and "How do you like that?" I never remember him calling Frank Messer or Jerry Coleman by name, but he would always call Bill White by his last name instead of first. Same with Bobby Murcer, my childhood idol who continues on despite recent brain surgery. My old buddy Tommy C. and I laughed hysterically the day that New London's own John Ellis played his first game in the bigs for the Yankees. He hit a bomb to the monuments and, though he wasn't fast by any means, came around for an inside-the-park homer. As he came across home plate, Phil said, "Holy Cow! The people in Connecticut are throwing babies out the window!"
Phil, who died this week, was beloved and a genuine guy who didn't change with fame. Take a look at a picture of him and humble Yogi Berra together and try to image how these two guys hit such heights from such simple homes. And physically they make Jorge Posada look studly. But that makes them even more endearing.

Josh, Drake, Gumby and the Ortiz family

Nickelodeon says its "Drake & Josh: Really Big Shrimp" TV movie, starring Drake Bell and Josh Peck, served up solid ratings in its premiere Aug. 3, making it Nick's highest-rated TV movie ever with tweens 9-14 and total viewers (P2+). Almost 6 million people watched.

Genius Products and Classic Media are marking the 50th anniversary of the “Gumby Show” TV premiere by releasing "Gumby Essentials" on DVD. Thecollection includes episodes from the 1950s, 60s and 80s series, personally selected by Gumby creator, Art Clokey. Gumby Essentials will be available September 4th for $16.93 SRP and features environmentally friendly packaging, whatever that is.

The Documentary Channel (Dish Network, Channel 197) will begin airing the documentary "emPOWERed," featuring folks fighting global warming in their own backyards and civic or church groups. One of the featured segments are the Ortiz family of Fairfield, Ct., who made many energy saving changes to their house in hopes of reducing their impact on the planet.

Rupert Murdoch may be harmful to your kids' health

From the Parents Television Council:
On Aug. 1, News Corp. and its broadcast network, MyNetworkTV, aired a few episodes of the new FX drama Damages, a Mature-rated cable program, at the start of the family hour and did not edit the sexual or violent content for broadcast television.

Parents Television Council President Tim Winter reacted -- “More children watch television during the 8 pm hour than on Saturday mornings or after school. If the Fox executive suite truly cared about acting responsibly, the company wouldn’t put an adult-targeted, MA-rated cable program on one of its broadcast networks at the start of the family hour,” he said. The PTC is calling for a review of the MyNetworkTV standards and practices staff who allowed this to happen, and for the advertisers to get a refund if they were caught off guard by the programming change since a concert was originally scheduled to be aired."

Reaction to comment below: Bush may be the worst president imaginable (Iraq, the national debt, the environment, torture, human rights, stifling dissent, spitting on the Constitution, wrapping himself in the flag, stepping into the Islamist trap in the Middle East, failing to catch Bin Laden...) but he doesn't program prime time TV. Right-wing Rupert M., who would do anything for a business advantage, should answer to that.

Fox update

fox says of fall plans:

BONES” MOVES TO TUESDAYS AT 8:00 PM;
“KITCHEN NIGHTMARES” (Gordon Ramsay) TO AIR ON WEDNESDAYS AT 9:00 PM;
THURSDAYS TO FEATURE HIT GAME-SHOW TANDEM OF
“ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER?” AND
“DON’T FORGET THE LYRICS!”

Cheshire murder case is People mag. cover story

A release from People magazine:

(NEW YORK) – This week’s PEOPLE features an in-depth report on the home invasion of the Petit family and the brutal murders of Jennifer Hawke-Petit and daughters Hayley, 17, and Michaela, 11 that shocked their tranquil Connecticut town.

PEOPLE reports that the two suspects, Steven Hayes, 44, and Joshua Komisarjevsky, 26, are both ex-cons with extensive rap sheets. Amid an outcry, Connecticut officials have promised to investigate how they could have been let out on parole and to reform procedures if necessary. In the meantime, Hayes and Komisarjevsky, who police confirm have confessed, have been charged with multiple counts of murder and kidnapping and are facing a possible death penalty. While the prospect of severe punishment provided comfort to some, friends of the Petits preferred not to dwell on that aspect of the tragedy. “It makes you want to give up on a world where this could happen to people like this, but then you realize they would not want us to give up,” Jennifer’s friend Deb Hereld tells PEOPLE. “If this happened to somebody else, they would be the people in the front, comforting, organizing help and just being there on a personal level. You don’t meet many people like that in your life; you just don’t.”

More on the killings, confirming what I've heard around town in Cheshire:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/07/nyregion/07slay.html?th&emc=th